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In Regards to the Issues with CWS...

2

Comments

  • PalutenaPalutena Member Posts: 493 ✭✭✭✭✭
    ok what the hell happened now
    I made a deal with myself to never use slack again
    can someone who is there tell me pls
    b
  • Jarr2003Jarr2003 Member Posts: 3,790 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Palutena said:

    ok what the hell happened now
    I made a deal with myself to never use slack again
    can someone who is there tell me pls

    The last time I recall him being on Slack was on New Year's Eve, and was banned because he was freaking out and spamming self-hate, not unlike some of the things he's posted on here. CWS's most recent freak out happened on a pm, which I'll add you to in case you want to read what happened there.
    "its like every 5 AS you require 10x more souls." -uiomancant
    Dashnet Plays NationStates: Play now! Please...
  • ChisakoChisako Moderator, Helpful, Cool, Conversationalist, Funny, Cake Posts: 1,034 Mod
    @Cookiewoodstock
    please read what i said and don't make up something from it.
    i said it's the right thing to ban the source in order to prevent further damage in multiple aspects.
    i never said it's the right thing to cut off all ways of communication.
    note that only your main account was banned and not your alts, so for contact reasons like PMs to talk to those close to you, you would have still been able to do so.
    You want your ad here?
    Call 555-NOPE
  • BrainstormBrainstorm Member Posts: 11,214 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Just calm down please, CWS. You can be happy if you try to, it won't be hard.
    "Calm your caps, bro." -Brainstorm

    the following link is the best thing that could happen to you: http://forum.dashnet.org/discussions/tagged/brainstormgame

    Currently managing a large-based forum game.. DashNet RPG! Play it now: http://forum.dashnet.org/discussion/15882/dashnet-rpg-dashnets-greatest-forum-game-of-all-time
    Dashnet RPG Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/6301gzzx
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Member, Flagger Posts: 16,176 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Jarr2003 said:

    CWS, you can't just threaten to commit suicide whenever you don't get what you want. That is an extremely childish thing to do.

    A week has gone by with me intentionally doing no posts.

    Let me clue you in on a secret; I did that on purpose to see how you'd all react if you thought I actually did kill myself.

    And you decided to say "don't threaten it" and ignore the problem. Not even a singular soul saying, "oh my god, this guy may have killed himself, we should take action to prevent this from happening ever again because this is genuinely a terrible thing."

    You just kept saying the same, exact, stuff, if even that; you decided to blatantly deny such a thing! And now, I have to live knowing, if I killed myself, it'd be viewed as nothing but an empty threat, and nobody would do a thing. I don't even have to assume that. Look at the six agrees. Look at the following posts. You can't hide it, you flat-out don't care an inch, and when faced with possible suicide, IGNORED it.

    And yet you continue to ask, why I think it's hopeless? I'll let you figure that out yourself; that is, if you can even comprehend how on Earth the stuff you've done is a terrible, terrible idea. I'd rather get advice from Amane. At least, while he gives bad advice, he doesn't try to pretend he's giving good advice and get mad at you for saying said advice is horrible. He's at least blunt about being awful. I can't say the same of the people giving me advice here.

    I told you it was hopeless. I fucking told you, it was hopeless. Don't even pretend I didn't.
  • DemonicSprinklesDemonicSprinkles Member Posts: 987 ✭✭✭
    @Cookiewoodstock To be fair, I had reason to believe you were alive, due to being friends with you on Steam, but I see your point.

    This forum does seem to be one that relies heavily on safety and comfort, and as such, don't like to face some harsh possibilities or realities. I obviously can't vouch for everyone here, but death is really sore subject anywhere you go, and not something many talk about. That's no excuse, of course.

    I could now go on a spiel about how it isn't hopeless, and all that, but you've heard it before so there's really no reason to.

    Instead, I'll see if there's anything else we can do to help, and honestly, I think all that we really need to do is treat you like a friend. Not a victim, or student, or some stranger seeking life advice. You are our friend, and the only way that we can make any real progress is to treat you as such.

    You deserve a break from sarcasm and anger. If we can just be genuine and nice around you, I think things could really improve. Maybe not, but they could! So, why not give it a try? No more tl;dr walls of text like this one, or desperate attempts to change you in some way. Just having honest chats, and letting you say what you feel you need to say. We will listen but not lash out, we will acknowledge you but not argue with you. After all, things can only change for the worse if you don't feel comfortable.
    "My reverse psychology will never work on you!" ~kirdneh
    "I'm a square!" ~DarthCookie
    Username Gen
  • AgubhaguAgubhagu Member Posts: 571 ✭✭✭
    well, the last active stat was sort of a giveaway. while it isn't like i reacted like " meh", i just thought that you didn't want to post things, maybe just lurk( or just not comment) for a few days, since i could see that you were still coming to the forum.
    signed
  • PalutenaPalutena Member Posts: 493 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Agubhagu said:

    well, the last active stat was sort of a giveaway. while it isn't like i reacted like " meh", i just thought that you didn't want to post things, maybe just lurk( or just not comment) for a few days, since i could see that you were still coming to the forum.

    The "last active" stat said January 20th when it was the 24th when I checked
    Though Luri said he could tell CWS was active because he was online on Skype
    b
  • AgubhaguAgubhagu Member Posts: 571 ✭✭✭
    well, 5 days doesn't seem like a lot to me. people just take breaks, or are away for a few days. but that's just what i think.
    signed
  • Jarr2003Jarr2003 Member Posts: 3,790 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Jarr2003 said:

    CWS, you can't just threaten to commit suicide whenever you don't get what you want. That is an extremely childish thing to do.

    ~snip~
    Look CWS, I didn't ignore it. I was well aware you were gone, an very aware of the possibility that you had committed suicide. I was hoping you might've actually taken my advice to take a break from Dashnet, but clearly that was just wishful thinking. Had you waited longer, I probably would've posted something eventually if nobody posted sooner.

    Furthermore, this week has been very busy for me. I've been through a ton of stress doing homework and major tests, so it's natural that I wouldn't be on Dashnet that much. It's very well possible that other people have been busy as well, so you have no right to act like a week was a long enough period of time to assume that nobody here cares about your "plight."

    CWS, at this point I legitimately don't think I can really tolerate this any more. I and many others have wasted tons of time trying to help you, yet you continue to attempt to guilt trip us into believing that you're just the innocent victim dealing with a torrent of abuse and that all would be just fine if only DLK was banned (bonus points if Zuptin's admin position is removed and Chisako stops "lying" about his depression). If you're truly in a near-suicide level depression, some guy being banned for talking about politics isn't just going to cure it, and we sure as hell aren't going to do it if you lack a good reason for it.

    I'm honestly not sure if I'll bother to humor you any further. I'm just too tired of it at this point. I honestly just can't deal with this anymore. I legitimately used to like you, CWS, but now you've degraded to someone who yells at his closest friends for attempting to help you, and uses depression as a scapegoat to get what you want. It's legitimately sickening that you would accuse Chisako of lying about his depression when you rant about us "not understanding" or "not caring" about your miserable little depression.

    I hope you grow out of this soon, but at this point, I wouldn't hold my breath.

    ~another snip~

    Honestly, do whatever the hell you think will help him. I don't care anymore. Maybe you can actually help him, because I clearly can't.
    "its like every 5 AS you require 10x more souls." -uiomancant
    Dashnet Plays NationStates: Play now! Please...
  • Zonoro13Zonoro13 Member, Cool, Flagger, Conversationalist Posts: 2,462 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Jarr2003 said:


    CWS, at this point I legitimately don't think I can really tolerate this any more. I and many others have wasted tons of time trying to help you, yet you continue to attempt to guilt trip us into believing that you're just the innocent victim dealing with a torrent of abuse and that all would be just fine if only DLK was banned (bonus points if Zuptin's admin position is removed and Chisako stops "lying" about his depression). If you're truly in a near-suicide level depression, some guy being banned for talking about politics isn't just going to cure it, and we sure as hell aren't going to do it if you lack a good reason for it.

    I'm honestly not sure if I'll bother to humor you any further. I'm just too tired of it at this point. I honestly just can't deal with this anymore. I legitimately used to like you, CWS, but now you've degraded to someone who yells at his closest friends for attempting to help you, and uses depression as a scapegoat to get what you want. It's legitimately sickening that you would accuse Chisako of lying about his depression when you rant about us "not understanding" or "not caring" about your miserable little depression.

    I hope you grow out of this soon, but at this point, I wouldn't hold my breath.

    Jfc

    Why did you think this was a good idea to type or post?

    "Yahoo, I got sigged!" ~Idler | RIP Alot. 2015-2015. Was ran over by his crush in a bus. It was so freaky because it really worked." ~Luri | "In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded." ~Terry Pratchett | "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." ~Terry Pratchett"
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Member, Flagger Posts: 16,176 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Jarr2003 said:

    (The right thing to say)

    At least you're honest about absolutely hating me. Something I can't say for the rest of the users here.
    Zonoro13 said:

    (Foolishness)

    Haven't you paid attention to the rest of this thread? The proper way to help a suicidally depressed person after 1 year of mental agony and 4 continuous years of depression is to make sure they feel like total shit and cut them off from all forms of contact with any people who MIGHT care about them, and make absolutely sure to ignore the continuous problems. Also see a therapist even though you already see one. You see double. You, in fact, actually see quadruple, as you go to 4 therapists currently.

    (Just... why)

    Yeah, right. Tell that to the rest of the community. Judging by the posts following this, especially Jarr's, no, nobody here cares about doing that sort of stuff.

    They don't give two shits about being my friend, doesn't give a shit about giving anybody a break from sarcasm or anger, being genuinely nice, not giving giant fucking walls of text, having honest talks, not lashing out, and so much as noticing my presence, much less making things comfortable for a user.

    In fact, they're more inclined to hate on me. Call me out for everything and make damn sure I feel like a shitty human being. Because my brain doesn't do it for me, no, they have to personally make sure I know I am a retarded disgrace and pitiful excuse of a human being.

    @Karlolin contacted me on Discord claiming he wanted to be my friend. He immediately started to predict what I would say, something I hate because it makes me feel like that is literally ALL I AM to the given person, and just left. Because the things I look for in a friend includes them making me feel like total shit, it's a top-priority.

    "Hanging in there" and doing nothing for 4 years is not going to solve anything, it will in fact make things worse. Because all the problems and traumas that occur in the span of those 4 years will be allowed to stay with you, haunting every yottasecond of your life, and you did nothing to solve the issue on account of "hanging in there" and just waiting for things to improve.

    I have tried to help myself. Since 2009. I have 4 therapists currently, went to a doctor yesterday on account of having a fever and a terrible cough that might be bronchitis, and go to another doctor about every once in awhile to get my medicine changed. I'm on antidepressants and have medication to help take care of my anxiety and ADHD. I've seen, like, 8 therapists in the past, too. Though most of those were to help with different issues like my aspergers. So no, it's not that I don't want to help myself, don't even fucking try saying that. That is an insult to the 12 therapists I've seen throughout my life.

    Now, if this is your idea of help. To repeat the same advice I got in 2013 that has done more harm than help to follow for 4 years, or to blatantly harm me, then I'm sorry. But you have failed. Not as people. But as a collective community, attempting to resolve an issue. You. Have. Failed. How much? Well:
    • I would say epic fail, but that doesn't describe how it is, in fact, the purest form of failure.
    • If you look up failure in the dictionary, there will be a definition that says "DashNet trying to be decent when someone is blatantly suicidal after a year of mental agony and has has four years of depression." That is how godforsaken this is, and how hard this failed.
    • If you were to make a pie chart on how much of a help it'd be if I genuinely took Amane's deliberately bad advice and took the advice I have gotten here, Amane's slice would be so big, the other slice wouldn't be visible unless your computer monitor was capable of displaying one nonillionth of a pixel, because of how small it is.
    • I am more likely to be struck by lightning, win the lottery, or have a decent life, than there is a chance that there will be genuinely helpful advice given here. Even if you multiplied the three together, those tiny fractions are still larger than 0.
    • If I actually did kill myself, the ratio of users here who would celebrate or not care is almost infinitely times the amount of users here who would mourn or genuinely care about what happened.

    That is just how bad this is, and how little I have been helped here. Your words mean practically nothing when you're not only a minority in terms of users which consists of, oh, one user at best, out of the, like, 25 members active, and the remaining 24 absolutely don't give two fucks about genuinely helping out, and some even preferring to hurt instead.

    I fucking told you, and I swear to Christ, don't make me say it again. It's goddamn hopeless. Stop trying.
    Post edited by Cookiewoodstock on
  • ViniVini Member Posts: 3,576 ✭✭✭✭✭
    So, that's it then? You admit we absolutely failed. Not a single word from any particular person here can at the veriest least point you to the general direction of a better life. Your suffering has gotten to a point so far beyond our reach even the sound of spoken ellipsis is more likely to cause your harm than good. There are not two, not one, but exactly zero advices coming from this part of the internet that you would be willing to even consider taking. Three meters after rock bottom, and then some more.

    Is that what you're saying?

    If true, and this is what I understood from it, but if that is what you mean, then you want us to ignore you.
    All you get from coming here is hurt, intentionally or not. (And by that I mean form our side. It's obvious you wouldn't come here with the intend of getting hurt.) You're suggesting we stop addressing the "CWS issue" by stopping to address to CWS himself?
    It probably isn't the best idea to send yet another question at you, but I want to know if this is what you want. The stars above know whether what you want is what you need, but if I can't get the latter, I'll go after the former.

    CWS. Do you want us to ignore you? Utterly stop talking to you?

  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Member, Flagger Posts: 16,176 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Vini said:

    So, that's it then? You admit we absolutely failed. Not a single word from any particular person here can at the veriest least point you to the general direction of a better life. Your suffering has gotten to a point so far beyond our reach even the sound of spoken ellipsis is more likely to cause your harm than good. There are not two, not one, but exactly zero advices coming from this part of the internet that you would be willing to even consider taking. Three meters after rock bottom, and then some more.

    Is that what you're saying?

    If true, and this is what I understood from it, but if that is what you mean, then you want us to ignore you.
    All you get from coming here is hurt, intentionally or not. (And by that I mean form our side. It's obvious you wouldn't come here with the intend of getting hurt.) You're suggesting we stop addressing the "CWS issue" by stopping to address to CWS himself?
    It probably isn't the best idea to send yet another question at you, but I want to know if this is what you want. The stars above know whether what you want is what you need, but if I can't get the latter, I'll go after the former.

    CWS. Do you want us to ignore you? Utterly stop talking to you?

    If this is the sort of help I'm going to get:
    • Ignore your problems and let them pile up as they haunt you
    • See a therapist because apparently you don't see four of them already
    • Cut a suicidally depressed person off from all contact with people who MIGHT care about them because they MIGHT be destructive
    • Intentionally isolate yourself from all contact by "taking a break" when you have nowhere to go to
    • You know what, fuck it, forget it, I give up. You're a horrible person who insults his closest friends when they try to help you. This is obviously the correct thing for me to say, because nobody has actually reported this for being awful, and thusly, it must be perfectly reasonable.
    Then yes, I don't want the fucking help. Because if I'm being honest, if Amane's advice is more enticing and seems like better advice in comparison to the advice given to me here - if advice that is intentionally and unsubtly bad advice designed to make me worse, if not legitimately dead, is advice I would take compared to the bad, useless, already done and didn't help, or flat-out malicious and blatant insulting "help" that I've gotten here - then you have failed on the most fundamentally basic level, and I doubt there's any salvaging the situation.
  • Jarr2003Jarr2003 Member Posts: 3,790 ✭✭✭✭✭
    CWS, I don't hate you. I was very stressed yesterday when I posted that, and I've calmed down a bit now.

    Anyways, CWS, what do you think we can do to help you? You keep saying our advice is useless, so clearly you must have some idea of what would help you.
    "its like every 5 AS you require 10x more souls." -uiomancant
    Dashnet Plays NationStates: Play now! Please...
  • ViniVini Member Posts: 3,576 ✭✭✭✭✭
    So be it.
    I really, honestly, definitively didn't want to give up. But I'm out.
    Out of ideas. Completely clueless as to what to do.
    I don't want to risk doing any more harm than I possibly already did.
    I speak for nobody but me. I shan't utter a word direct at you.
    If anything, I can only hope this is the right thing to do.
    Only hope my apathy will be a step towards your getting better.

  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Member, Flagger Posts: 16,176 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Jarr2003 said:

    CWS, I don't hate you. I was very stressed yesterday when I posted that, and I've calmed down a bit now.

    Anyways, CWS, what do you think we can do to help you? You keep saying our advice is useless, so clearly you must have some idea of what would help you.

    Don't even try playing dumb with me. You said it, and you even flat-out admitted it that you thought I was a terrible person. Unlike the brain power it'd take to come up with the advice I got in this thread, my brain is not comparable to the capabilities of a fucking toaster oven. I have an IQ larger than the number 2, and an attention span longer than that of a baby when their parents jiggle their keys at them.
    dt200 said:

    Okay, Cam, stop this. Stop insulting people just because they are trying to help you. We are offering all the help possible, and yet you deflect every single thing we say.

    If only there was actually good advice given. Then I might be more inclined to stop.

    Unfortunately "hanging in there" seems to be a popular choice, along with "isolate yourself from society" and "cut contact with anyone who cares about you because you might be destructive". So until I get good advice for a change, I couldn't care less, because there's no way to have a smaller not-inherently-negative number than 0.
    Vini said:

    So be it.
    I really, honestly, definitively didn't want to give up. But I'm out.
    Out of ideas. Completely clueless as to what to do.
    I don't want to risk doing any more harm than I possibly already did.
    I speak for nobody but me. I shan't utter a word direct at you.
    If anything, I can only hope this is the right thing to do.
    Only hope my apathy will be a step towards your getting better.

    And somehow, no """"""""""""""""""""""""""help"""""""""""""""""""""""""" of any value was lost.
  • Jarr2003Jarr2003 Member Posts: 3,790 ✭✭✭✭✭
    CWS, I don't care whether or not you believe me about the "I don't hate you" claim, but at least say what kind of help you want. You've wasted so much time complaining about how all of our advice is complete crap, yet you have yet to put the actual effort into explaining what you think would actually help you.
    "its like every 5 AS you require 10x more souls." -uiomancant
    Dashnet Plays NationStates: Play now! Please...
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Member, Flagger Posts: 16,176 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Jarr2003 said:

    CWS, I don't care whether or not you believe me about the "I don't hate you" claim, but at least say what kind of help you want. You've wasted so much time complaining about how all of our advice is complete crap, yet you have yet to put the actual effort into explaining what you think would actually help you.

    Well, for start, maybe you could try the ancient European tactic of not trying to make the said suicidally depressed person feel like total garbage by putting them down. Which seems like we've got already!

    After all, who in their right mind would think making the suicidally depressed person feel like shit would be a good course of action?

    I legitimately used to like you, CWS, but now you've degraded to someone who yells at his closest friends for attempting to help you, and uses depression as a scapegoat to get what you want. It's legitimately sickening that you would accuse Chisako of lying about his depression when you rant about us "not understanding" or "not caring" about your miserable little depression.

    I hope you grow out of this soon, but at this point, I wouldn't hold my breath.

  • ChisakoChisako Moderator, Helpful, Cool, Conversationalist, Funny, Cake Posts: 1,034 Mod


    Well, for start, maybe you could try the ancient European tactic of not trying to make the said suicidally depressed person feel like total garbage by putting them down. Which seems like we've got already!

    After all, who in their right mind would think making the suicidally depressed person feel like shit would be a good course of action?

    That's what you do to yourself. Not others. And if they did, that's because you MADE them feel in a way that another reaction was not to be expected.

    Also, just the fact that you said


    Let me clue you in on a secret; I did that on purpose to see how you'd all react if you thought I actually did kill myself.

    is proof enough for me to not take you serious anymore.
    You are either trolling
    or (and that is more likely if you are not a disrespectful lying cunt)
    you are ABUSING your situation to either gain attention or to punish yourself in a depressive rage.
    Either way, YOU ARE doing the wrong thing here right now.

    What help do you EXPECT from a cookie forum?
    For the dozenth time, THIS is NOT the place for your problems, if real or fake doesn't even matter at this point.
    Btw... You say you are seeing "4 therapists" already... Well, either you are lying on this part or you are lying to them or hiding things i'd guess is more accurate; same result though.
    If your situation were as half as bad as you describe you would be in stationary care by now or you'd be taking drugs strong enough to blur out your entire personality. Because no DOCTOR lets you run around in a mental state which you described so far.

    Also you are not apologizing for what you said to me, thus being a hypocrite on people are supposed to care about stuff like that, so why the bloody hell should i be holding back against you as a person either?
    You want your ad here?
    Call 555-NOPE
  • idcidc Member Posts: 139 ✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    I'm just gonna say a few things (please ignore my username which was a joke at my own expense due to how I cared too much about reactions. My old account is Zyzzyzus if you don't know). I have stayed out of this for a while.

    1. Until you admit mistakes you made without trying to excuse them or justify them you wont be able to move on from them nor expect others to forget them.
    2. You were rude and disrespectful to my 2 closest friends and have yet to apologise so you can't expect much from me after that.
    3. Despite that, I still care and still want you to get through this. I am not BSing or lying about this because I do not do that. The main reason I didn't say anything before is partly due to not knowing how to help but also because of how much it takes out of me too. I have my own stuff to deal with right now as it is.
    BEETLE there is! While the ROOMS here not!
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Member, Flagger Posts: 16,176 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Chisako said:


    Well, for start, maybe you could try the ancient European tactic of not trying to make the said suicidally depressed person feel like total garbage by putting them down. Which seems like we've got already!

    After all, who in their right mind would think making the suicidally depressed person feel like shit would be a good course of action?

    That's what you do to yourself. Not others. And if they did, that's because you MADE them feel in a way that another reaction was not to be expected.
    Oh, really? Nobody here insulted me and made me feel like shit. I made them do that. I was the only person actually doing a thing, and only me insulted me.
    Jarr2003 said:

    Jarr2003 said:

    CWS, you can't just threaten to commit suicide whenever you don't get what you want. That is an extremely childish thing to do.

    ~snip~
    Look CWS, I didn't ignore it. I was well aware you were gone, an very aware of the possibility that you had committed suicide. I was hoping you might've actually taken my advice to take a break from Dashnet, but clearly that was just wishful thinking. Had you waited longer, I probably would've posted something eventually if nobody posted sooner.

    Furthermore, this week has been very busy for me. I've been through a ton of stress doing homework and major tests, so it's natural that I wouldn't be on Dashnet that much. It's very well possible that other people have been busy as well, so you have no right to act like a week was a long enough period of time to assume that nobody here cares about your "plight."

    CWS, at this point I legitimately don't think I can really tolerate this any more. I and many others have wasted tons of time trying to help you, yet you continue to attempt to guilt trip us into believing that you're just the innocent victim dealing with a torrent of abuse and that all would be just fine if only DLK was banned (bonus points if Zuptin's admin position is removed and Chisako stops "lying" about his depression). If you're truly in a near-suicide level depression, some guy being banned for talking about politics isn't just going to cure it, and we sure as hell aren't going to do it if you lack a good reason for it.

    I'm honestly not sure if I'll bother to humor you any further. I'm just too tired of it at this point. I honestly just can't deal with this anymore. I legitimately used to like you, CWS, but now you've degraded to someone who yells at his closest friends for attempting to help you, and uses depression as a scapegoat to get what you want. It's legitimately sickening that you would accuse Chisako of lying about his depression when you rant about us "not understanding" or "not caring" about your miserable little depression.

    I hope you grow out of this soon, but at this point, I wouldn't hold my breath.

    ~another snip~

    Honestly, do whatever the hell you think will help him. I don't care anymore. Maybe you can actually help him, because I clearly can't.
    But, I assume you know of that one already, though; after all, you agreed with it.
    Chisako said:



    Let me clue you in on a secret; I did that on purpose to see how you'd all react if you thought I actually did kill myself.

    is proof enough for me to not take you serious anymore.
    You are either trolling
    or (and that is more likely if you are not a disrespectful lying cunt)
    you are ABUSING your situation to either gain attention or to punish yourself in a depressive rage.
    Either way, YOU ARE doing the wrong thing here right now.
    I've been driven to pure desperation to cause someone, ANYONE, to recognize the problem. I thought, maybe, just maybe, if the prospect of my suicide actually occuring came up, perhaps just one user would reconsider. But we can see how that went, now, can we?

    No, my death is null. Zero effect. And I also have to live with the fact that if I did kill myself, not even the STAFF here would give a shit. But yes, I'm in the wrong here. Even though the forum as a whole is staffed by people who literally don't care about SUICIDE BEING CAUSED ON THEIR FORUMS.
    Chisako said:

    What help do you EXPECT from a cookie forum?
    For the dozenth time, THIS is NOT the place for your problems, if real or fake doesn't even matter at this point.

    Hey, what category is this in? Off-topic? Oh, hey! That must be where the posts NOT related to Cookie Clicker go! Turns out we can post things NOT related to that here? Gasp! Shock! Sounds!
    Chisako said:

    Btw... You say you are seeing "4 therapists" already... Well, either you are lying on this part or you are lying to them or hiding things i'd guess is more accurate; same result though.

    One therapist takes me on an outing weekly.

    One therapist is the BOSS of that therapist and is my regular therapist, and meets on a scheduled basis; usually every other week.

    One therapist assigns my MEDICATION. I see them on a scheduled basis; usually every three months.

    The last one is my speech teacher.

    So no. It's not an exaggeration. I do see 4 therapists. And I've seen more.

    3 were in Michigan before I moved, for a total of 7.
    1 therapist used to replace the one for the outing for about a year, for a total of 8.
    2 previous speech teachers for a total of 10.
    And 2 previous miscellaneous therapists for a total of 12.
    Chisako said:

    If your situation were as half as bad as you describe you would be in stationary care by now or you'd be taking drugs strong enough to blur out your entire personality. Because no DOCTOR lets you run around in a mental state which you described so far.

    And what proof do you have that I would be in stationary care? What proof do you have I should be taking drugs strong enough to blur out any semblance of personality in me? And what medical PHD do you have to prove no DOCTOR allows it?

    Wait, why should I trust you when you BLATANTLY AGREE WITH THE PERSON WHO INSULTS ME IN A THREAD ABOUT HELPING ME!?!
    Chisako said:

    Also you are not apologizing for what you said to me, thus being a hypocrite on people are supposed to care about stuff like that, so why the bloody hell should i be holding back against you as a person either?

    Jarr was allowed to bluff my suicidal depression. I am sure you know that, though, since you agreed with it:

    http://forum.dashnet.org/discussion/comment/367071/#Comment_367071

    So, if Jarr can do it, why can't I? After all, he faced nothing for doing so. There's nothing in the rules to say you can't do it. And if there was, Jarr would be banned, or at least given a warning, as a result of that comment. Otherwise, that would be poor moderating and being unfairly inconsistent with punishment.

    You're a moderator, so I have full faith that, when faced with the possibility of a user committing suicide, you will make the correct decisions, such as helping them, not allowing users to insult them, not cutting them off from contact with people who might care about them due to them POSSIBLY being destructive (when you cannot 100% guarantee it), not allow for a permaban in an off-site chat due to them being depressed, and most importantly, you will not make them feel like garbage and make them want to kill themselves and feel as though there is zero hope left for them.

    After all, you're a moderator; you should be making the best decisions possible, so of course you wouldn't do such things like that, would you?
  • DoomlordKravokaDoomlordKravoka Member, Wiener Posts: 3,375 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Speech teachers count as depression therapists?
  • ChisakoChisako Moderator, Helpful, Cool, Conversationalist, Funny, Cake Posts: 1,034 Mod


    Oh, really? Nobody here insulted me and made me feel like shit. I made them do that. I was the only person actually doing a thing, and only me insulted me.

    It's a result of your continuous rants. Many here are strangers to you and they are here to enjoy their time, not to solve personal issues of random people.


    But, I assume you know of that one already, though; after all, you agreed with it.

    So an agree to the FACT that you DID abuse your situation, is bad? How so?
    You even ADMITTED that you just "wanted to see the reaction".


    I've been driven to pure desperation to cause someone, ANYONE, to recognize the problem. I thought, maybe, just maybe, if the prospect of my suicide actually occuring came up, perhaps just one user would reconsider. But we can see how that went, now, can we?

    MANY people recognized the problems you described. MANY offered help that they could think of. You refused ALL of them!


    No, my death is null. Zero effect. And I also have to live with the fact that if I did kill myself, not even the STAFF here would give a shit. But yes, I'm in the wrong here. Even though the forum as a whole is staffed by people who literally don't care about SUICIDE BEING CAUSED ON THEIR FORUMS.

    Which is the next thing... if you blame this forum for your REAL LIFE problems. Please leave. I kindly ask you to.
    You were the one responding to whatever you CLAIM but NOT PROOF doomlord said to you. You can only blame yourself, once more.
    Address THIS problem with your "therapists".


    Hey, what category is this in? Off-topic? Oh, hey! That must be where the posts NOT related to Cookie Clicker go! Turns out we can post things NOT related to that here? Gasp! Shock! Sounds!

    It's in Off Topic, so what? See at the TOC. We don't have to accept any content, technically or even user while talking about it. Your rants and confessions are tolerated which does not mean this is the right place for it. You might want to find a forum that deals with this kind especially.

    3 were in Michigan before I moved, for a total of 7.
    1 therapist used to replace the one for the outing for about a year, for a total of 8.
    2 previous speech teachers for a total of 10.
    And 2 previous miscellaneous therapists for a total of 12.

    Apparently you have some history. So?
    They seem to be incompetent then because it clearly is not helping you either. Or you are as i assumed before, hiding things from them thus sabotaging your own treatment, which seem plausible taking into account that you refused all advice on this forum too.


    And what proof do you have that I would be in stationary care? What proof do you have I should be taking drugs strong enough to blur out any semblance of personality in me? And what medical PHD do you have to prove no DOCTOR allows it?

    Wait, why should I trust you when you BLATANTLY AGREE WITH THE PERSON WHO INSULTS ME IN A THREAD ABOUT HELPING ME!?!

    You are threatening others to kill yourself. You are clearly not capable to be among healthy people, thus a threat to others as well. If your therapists are ignoring this fact, we can blame them for EVERYTHING that may happen. I don't need a PhD to figure out the laws and what a real psychologist / psychiatrist HAS TO DO in a situation like yours.


    Jarr was allowed to bluff my suicidal depression. I am sure you know that, though, since you agreed with it:

    http://forum.dashnet.org/discussion/comment/367071/#Comment_367071

    So, if Jarr can do it, why can't I? [...] Otherwise, that would be poor moderating and being unfairly inconsistent with punishment.

    See top again for comment on the reaction.
    "why can't I?" See? That's why i call you a hypocrite. You demand a treatment that you won't give to others. You are rather treating others bad as well, which is just your personal opinion by the way.


    You're a moderator, so I have full faith that, when faced with the possibility of a user committing suicide, you will make the correct decisions, such as helping them, not allowing users to insult them, not cutting them off from contact with people who might care about them due to them POSSIBLY being destructive (when you cannot 100% guarantee it), not allow for a permaban in an off-site chat due to them being depressed, and most importantly, you will not make them feel like garbage and make them want to kill themselves and feel as though there is zero hope left for them.

    After all, you're a moderator; you should be making the best decisions possible, so of course you wouldn't do such things like that, would you?

    - we all offered help, reminder again, you refused all of it
    - i explained your ban and i still think it was the right thing
    i prevented you from damaging yourself on-site as well as others potentially
    - your connection were not cut off completely, you can't blame me for not exchanging contacts through other means. the forum itself COULD be down due to various reasons at any time as well. So that argument is just silly.
    - "an off-site chat" see the problem there? Nothing to do with it, not responsible. Unrelated complain.
    - Since you refused all helping attempts and claimed my problems are not real (which i ask you once more, to tell to my dead mother, see how fake that is for yourself - i'm not letting that sit on me) it's not even necessary to make you feel bad, because for that, you should feel bad at this point.

    A last thing. If zuptin, me and the other moderators wouldn't be too soft, you'd be already banned a while ago. So appreciate the things even if you have no clue what you are talking about.

    You want your ad here?
    Call 555-NOPE
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Member, Flagger Posts: 16,176 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Chisako said:

    It's a result of your continuous rants. Many here are strangers to you and they are here to enjoy their time, not to solve personal issues of random people.

    So obviously, it's all me. I wrote those, I made them say that stuff to me, I made sure I felt like shit. I even made sure to make accounts years ago under different usernames, take on entirely different personalities under these accounts, set up thousands of proxies as to never be caught, and make sure I was controlling all of these accounts.
    Chisako said:

    So an agree to the FACT that you DID abuse your situation, is bad? How so?
    You even ADMITTED that you just "wanted to see the reaction".

    No, I said that you should know that people did indeed insult me, put me down, and make me feel like shit, because I have proof you not only saw the post, but even agreed with it; you gave the post an agree.
    Chisako said:

    MANY people recognized the problems you described. MANY offered help that they could think of. You refused ALL of them!

    Because they were advice that either don't work, actively harm the situation, I already do them, or in Jarr's case which I apparently am 100% the cause of, insulting me and making me feel like shit, and does not fall under "help" whatsoever.
    Chisako said:

    Which is the next thing... if you blame this forum for your REAL LIFE problems. Please leave. I kindly ask you to.
    You were the one responding to whatever you CLAIM but NOT PROOF doomlord said to you. You can only blame yourself, once more.
    Address THIS problem with your "therapists".

    You can see the proof that people wouldn't care here; take a look at the last post I made before that post, and the posts between that. Look at every post made in that span of time. Notice nobody shows concern.

    I showed you proof, but you did nothing about it because the link didn't work for you. That's literally what the PM mentioned several times here is. Look at the first page, go back in the archives within that link back to when Doomlord sent the message, and you'll find a post about Pizzagate.
    Chisako said:

    It's in Off Topic, so what? See at the TOC. We don't have to accept any content, technically or even user while talking about it. Your rants and confessions are tolerated which does not mean this is the right place for it. You might want to find a forum that deals with this kind especially.

    Except, if you deleted content simply because you didn't like it, that would be just flat-out abusing your moderator powers. If I was the staff member here, and you were the member, if I simply deleted everything you said here, I would be demoted for an abuse of power.
    Chisako said:

    Apparently you have some history. So?
    They seem to be incompetent then because it clearly is not helping you either. Or you are as i assumed before, hiding things from them thus sabotaging your own treatment, which seem plausible taking into account that you refused all advice on this forum too.

    And what proof is it you have that they are incompetent, or that I did that with them? What inherent proof is it that you can, for sure, prove that this occurred? If you can do that, I'll give you 100 dollars.
    Chisako said:

    You are threatening others to kill yourself. You are clearly not capable to be among healthy people, thus a threat to others as well. If your therapists are ignoring this fact, we can blame them for EVERYTHING that may happen. I don't need a PhD to figure out the laws and what a real psychologist / psychiatrist HAS TO DO in a situation like yours.

    What verified link do you have that people who are not mentally stable are inherently dangerous to anybody else? And do you REALLY not need a PhD to find out those laws? Or are you just assuming?
    Chisako said:

    "why can't I?" See? That's why i call you a hypocrite. You demand a treatment that you won't give to others. You are rather treating others bad as well, which is just your personal opinion by the way.

    Listen. He did the same thing as me; he said that a user's depression was faked and that it wasn't real. I never once stated I would not be punished. Just that, if I was punished, he would also be punished, since he did the same exact core offense.
    Chisako said:

    - we all offered help, reminder again, you refused all of it

    Because, like I said, the advice was either useless to me, was advice that hurt me, was advice I had already taken and would do me no good, or in some cases, were actually just blatantly insulting me and calling me a terrible person, which does not fall under the category of "help" nor "advice."
    Chisako said:

    - i explained your ban and i still think it was the right thing

    And I explained why I felt it was wrong.
    Chisako said:

    i prevented you from damaging yourself on-site as well as others potentially

    Are you certain that was going to be the result of my doing, or someone else's?
    Chisako said:


    - your connection were not cut off completely, you can't blame me for not exchanging contacts through other means. the forum itself COULD be down due to various reasons at any time as well. So that argument is just silly.

    I don't memorize the passwords to my alts, and in a suicidal fit, I likely will not be in a right state of mind to even remember to try. An alt can also be banned all the same, and in the case of an IP ban, it would result in every alt being banned, no matter what. Thusly, you can't really expect me to simply use an alt.
    Chisako said:

    - "an off-site chat" see the problem there? Nothing to do with it, not responsible. Unrelated complain.

    One you moderate. The slack chat.
    Chisako said:


    - Since you refused all helping attempts and claimed my problems are not real (which i ask you once more, to tell to my dead mother, see how fake that is for yourself - i'm not letting that sit on me) it's not even necessary to make you feel bad, because for that, you should feel bad at this point.

    I will apologize for that, but only if you explain why it's okay for Jarr to do this sort of thing. Besides, I don't need you to remind me how shitty I am. My brain does it daily.
    Chisako said:

    A last thing. If zuptin, me and the other moderators wouldn't be too soft, you'd be already banned a while ago. So appreciate the things even if you have no clue what you are talking about.

    Given this situation, this pretty much tells me I could very much lose everything I have in my life at the whim of the moderators here simply not being merciful. I host my roleplays on this forum, and that's all I have now that this community hates me, including the staff. Lose those, and I lose everything in my life.

    And how do you think this makes me feel? I haven't heard you speak even the smallest peep about how you think I feel about this situation. I've heard plenty about how how my feelings effect others, but not a word about my actual feelings on their own. The fact that I came to an entire community for love and care, but only got misery and hatred, to the point that staff has confessed that they want to ban me but don't have a good reason to yet, and that now I have almost nothing in my life.

    With only roleplays to call my "life" in a last-ditch attempt to just have some shred of humanity left within me after a whole year of mental agony and four years of depression.

    Do you wonder why I say it is hopeless?

    Well... There you go. That's why.
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Member, Flagger Posts: 16,176 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    (I love text limits...)

    @DemonicSprinkles

    I told you it was hopeless and to stop while you still could.

    I was warning you, that nothing good would happen. That it was destined to cause suffering, not help. This would make the issues exponentially multiply, and that it would harm me.

    But you didn't stop. You kept trying to get the forums to listen to you when you told them to not hate on me.

    And look what has happened. Just look at it all.

    If there was a chance for my life to improve, it no longer exists.
    If there was a chance for people to listen what you said there, it no longer exists.
    If there was a chance for anything good, it no longer exists.

    Even the staff hates me.
    Even the staff.
    The people who run this site.
    They absolutely hate me and everything I do.

    All I have left are roleplays on here, which I use to feebly claim I have something worth living for, and delude myself into not taking a butcher's knife to my neck.

    And that's failing on me because now the staff hates me and would ban me if they felt they had a good reason to ban me. I would lose my roleplays, and my whole life.

    It is hopeless.

    Please.

    I beg of you.

    I plea.

    Stop.

    Stop this now.

    Don't try to help me.

    It's just brought hatred to me.

    I could lose my whole life because this was allowed.

    I don't want to be banned because of this.

    I don't want to lose it all now.

    I don't want to die.
  • DemonicSprinklesDemonicSprinkles Member Posts: 987 ✭✭✭
    @Cookiewoodstock

    I never wanted to harm you. I'm sorry that I haven't been helpful, but I suppose this is a rather new experience for me.

    I won't argue or preach anymore, just. Let me be there for you.
    "My reverse psychology will never work on you!" ~kirdneh
    "I'm a square!" ~DarthCookie
    Username Gen
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Member, Flagger Posts: 16,176 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017

    @Cookiewoodstock

    I never wanted to harm you. I'm sorry that I haven't been helpful, but I suppose this is a rather new experience for me.

    I won't argue or preach anymore, just. Let me be there for you.

    The staff hates me now; I am not safe, and it's because of this godforsaken thread and the fact you flat-out refused to listen to me when I told you to stop. I am officially in danger of losing my whole life if the staff decides on a whim I go just a teensy bit too far for them, because you didn't listen when I told you to stop.

    No. I won't. I am literally at risk of losing my whole life, or what little can be called a life, because of your actions and refusal to stop. I don't think I can trust you.

    I told you it was hopeless and that you should've stopped while you still could. But now, it's too late.

    why do you guys even bother posting in this anymore

    Because I'm always wrong, so any thread saying I should be helped must be hated.
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