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In Regards to the Issues with CWS...

DemonicSprinklesDemonicSprinkles Posts: 987Member ✭✭✭
edited January 2017 in Off Topic
There are a few things I would like to say. Recently, our fellow user, and our friend, Cookiewoodstock (aka Cam) has been dealing with some serious mental and emotional struggles. Not just recently, either, he's dealt with these problems for a long time. And of course, I'm no expert on this subject, but I can say for certain that everything that's been happening recently hasn't helped, either.

Just today (or yesterday, depending on your timezone), Cam posted a "Last Will" and was banned from the forum. Some may say he's exaggerating, or that he's not worth caring about, but they're wrong. Cam isn't a bad person. I've talked to him and I know that he's really a caring person, but his personal problems seem to give everyone a bad impression of him. I can tell he wants things to be better, but he believes that that's impossible right now.

The only people that can fix this are the people that care about him, and that's us! I understand some of you may be on bad terms with him but that's beside the point. We are a community, and in that community is Cam.

People have tried advice, and people have tried kindness, but Cam needs more than some few who try to help. I do think he should be unmuted. Soon, at that. But first, we need to all keep in mind that we aren't him. We haven't dealt with the same things he has. Whether he gets mad at you or not, getting mad back doesn't fix anything.

Please give him some support in any way you can, and I would recommend you not tell him how to live his life. I'm hoping we can get Cam back from the hole he's in right now. Remember that no one wants to be recognized as a nuisance, but sometimes people's emotions are beyond logical control. Don't try to understand, just try to care. A nice drawing or a happy wish can have a huge impact. Please help me out here. Help Cam.
"My reverse psychology will never work on you!" ~kirdneh
"I'm a square!" ~DarthCookie
Username Gen
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Comments

  • DoigtDoigt Posts: 1,136Member ✭✭✭
    I'll be honest here, I do think that Cookiewoodstock needs help and I believe as a community we've done a lot. But helping someone who doesn't want to be helped is counter productive. Change is brought to those who wish it, at this point, it's best to simply act as guides and let CWS walk for himself. That being said, I can understand that some of you may not think highly of what I've to say in the matter, I've never really forgiven myself, but that and other things that happened led me to believe in a laissez-faire approach when it comes to people who have this kind of problem.
    ...the odds of such an event happening are within the realm of possibilities of this universe. ~ What my brother says when questioned about the validity of a claim
  • DemonicSprinklesDemonicSprinkles Posts: 987Member ✭✭✭
    @Doigt I personally disagree. I feel that everyone deserves help and support, and those who won't help themselves especially need people to help them. Perhaps we may have done all that we can, but I still feel like there is more that we can do.

    @Cookiewoodstock It isn't hopeless. I don't know why you feel that no one can help you, but you need to believe in others and believe in yourself. You needn't do anything but stay positive. It isn't easy, I know, but I want to be able to breach this barrier that you're putting between yourself and others.
    "My reverse psychology will never work on you!" ~kirdneh
    "I'm a square!" ~DarthCookie
    Username Gen
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Posts: 16,176Member, Flagger ✭✭✭✭✭✭

    @Cookiewoodstock It isn't hopeless. I don't know why you feel that no one can help you, but you need to believe in others and believe in yourself. You needn't do anything but stay positive. It isn't easy, I know, but I want to be able to breach this barrier that you're putting between yourself and others.

    if it truly weren't hopeless, then why is it that after 11 months straight of torment, nothing was done?

    why is it doomlord's still allowed to pull his stuff on me and face no bans for it?

    how he's allowed to drive me to insanity and make me lose my friendly and conversationalist roles, and proceed to face NOTHING for driving me to that level of insanity and blind rage?

    and how is he allowed to remain here even when his attitude is driving me suicidal?

    how am i supposed to have hope when even the only active administrator agrees i'm an idiot and bans me from the slack, much less for as long as he has? (he banned me again, and i think it's permanent because it sure as hell isn't 1 day long)

    how am i supposed to have hope when this goes on for 11 months, with nobody doing a thing?
  • 222lawlawlawl_games222lawlawlawl_games Posts: 314Member ✭✭
    I had this happen to me to, @cookiewoodstock I even got a shitpoll aimed at banning me and this threw me into a hole that lasted MONTHS, so I can sympathize with you.
  • AgubhaguAgubhagu Posts: 572Member ✭✭✭
    @Cookiewoodstock
    ( this is not sarcasm)
    I can not relate much to this exact situation, so sorry if I say something hurtful. But, as far as I can see, people are doing things. People care about you. I know that you don't believe so, but I really think they do. Sure, maybe some people won't always be there for you, but that doesn't mean that they don't care about you. I don't think that you should lose hope because of that. Besides that, we all have our ups and downs in life, so to speak. Times when we are sad, when we feel hopeless, etc, and times when we are happy, when we think we can do so many things, etc. It's just a part of life. You can't always be happy in life.
    Bad things happen, and you become sad. While the good things don't last forever, neither do the bad things. I know that eleven months of some very bad things, like depression, a constant feeling of hopelessness and other things feel like thousands of years.
    But, eventually, they come to an end, too. " There is always light at the end of the tunnel". If you approach the light, the light will come. But, Cam, you aren't trying to. You feel like there is no light. But, let me tell you, we all felt like that at one point in our lives. Sure, it may not have been as bad as what you are experiencing, but it's not pleasant.
    But, that passes, after some time. Nothing is permanent. While that means all the good things end, so do the bad things. And, when you are in that " tunnel", along the path, people won't always be there for you. Maybe never. But, that doesn't mean it's hopeless. You need to help yourself. Even if other people help you, it is all in vain if you don't want to help yourself.
    signed
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Posts: 16,176Member, Flagger ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Agubhagu said:

    People care about you. I know that you don't believe so, but I really think they do. Sure, maybe some people won't always be there for you, but that doesn't mean that they don't care about you. I don't think that you should lose hope because of that.

    Yeah, people care about me. Which is exactly why during a suicidal fit, Zuptin decided to call me an idiot, and yell at me that I "don't know when people are helping [me]." Nothing was done about this, and I was promptly banned from the slack for a day, and when I returned, I was banned on the spot, for what I can only assume is permanently, as it has been 2.5 weeks and I am not unbanned.

    Which is exactly why DoomlordKravoka is able to blatantly disregard my personal boundaries, and face absolutely nothing for doing so, right down to PMing me with the blatant intent of doing nothing but harm to me via the disregard of my own personal boundaries.

    Which is exactly why, during a mental breakdown, I was banned, muted, and lost two of my roles, while the people who caused them faced nothing.

    But okay, people care about me. People are respectful to me and they absolutely do not do anything cruel to me. I'll buy it.
    Agubhagu said:

    Besides that, we all have our ups and downs in life, so to speak. Times when we are sad, when we feel hopeless, etc, and times when we are happy, when we think we can do so many things, etc. It's just a part of life. You can't always be happy in life.

    I've been depressed for almost 11 2/3 months. On this Feburary, it'll be a year. Apparently I can't always be happy, because I can't EVER be happy.
    Agubhagu said:

    Bad things happen, and you become sad. While the good things don't last forever, neither do the bad things. I know that eleven months of some very bad things, like depression, a constant feeling of hopelessness and other things feel like thousands of years.

    The bad things don't last. Which is exactly why they've been allowed to happen for 11 2/3rd months, and nobody has done absolutely anything about it.

    Stop repeating your argument if it's a flimsy one that isn't even true.
    Agubhagu said:

    But, eventually, they come to an end, too. " There is always light at the end of the tunnel". If you approach the light, the light will come. But, Cam, you aren't trying to. You feel like there is no light. But, let me tell you, we all felt like that at one point in our lives. Sure, it may not have been as bad as what you are experiencing, but it's not pleasant.

    A light at the end of the tunnel? There IS no light at the end of the tunnel, no, there is no LIGHT. Let's just take a look-see at what'd be resolved if there WAS some sort of light at the end of the tunnel, people did help me, and this sort of thing was being disallowed:
    • I'd be unbanned from Slack due to being banned for having a mental breakdown, which is not a valid reason on any front.
    • Zuptin would likely face serious punishment for abusing power to mute someone blatantly having a mental breakdown as opposed to helping them, as well as harassment by calling them an idiot during it and getting mad at them.
    • DoomlordKravoka would be banned for harassment, blatant disrespect of personal boundaries, and driving a user to depression.
    • I wouldn't be suicidal right now.
    • This thread would not have been made.
    • The last will thread would not have been made.
    • I would be the optimistic person I was a year ago.
    • I would be more inclined to be active here.
    Let's look at which of these happened!

    ...None. None at all. Some light at the end of the tunnel, huh? More like a glimmer of false hope before being mercilessly crushed.
    Agubhagu said:

    But, that passes, after some time. Nothing is permanent. While that means all the good things end, so do the bad things. And, when you are in that " tunnel", along the path, people won't always be there for you. Maybe never. But, that doesn't mean it's hopeless. You need to help yourself. Even if other people help you, it is all in vain if you don't want to help yourself.

    Listen, this entire time you've gone on about how things aren't "permanent" but clearly they're going to be because absolutely fucking nobody is trying to stop them in any way. And you know what that means in this situation? That it can and will keep going on.

    And not wanting to help myself? I'm on several medication, I see not one, not two, but three therapists, and you have the audacity to tell me I don't want to help myself? Listen, it's not that I don't want to help myself. It's that the advice I get is either absolutely abysmal and will blatantly harm me, or it's the same advice I got in 2013 when first faced with depression, and "hanging in there" for 4 years isn't going to cut it anymore.

    You wanna know why I say it's hopeless? Because rather than any actual help be given, people would rather pull stuff like this, and entirely ignore the idea of simply fixing the problem at hand. Because, why bother to stop the problem altogether in a mean that actually prevents that problem from happening again, when you can just try to force the suicidally depressed person into doing things, which will no doubt only create more problems in the long run and ultimately only harm him more?

    I know for a damn fact nobody cares enough to actually fix the problem, if they even care in the first place. Our only active admin sure as hell doesn't, when faced with the problem he may have just driven a user suicidal, he just lazily copy/pastes a bunch of suicide hotline phone numbers (I don't have a phone) and calls it a day.

    I still stand by the fact that this is hopeless, because, frankly, if it wasn't, we wouldn't even be here.

    But hey, apparently I'm always in the wrong in everything, so just disagree this post, I guess.
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Posts: 16,176Member, Flagger ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Jarr2003 said:

    CWS, blaming other people for your problems isn't going to help you.

    Yes, because it's clearly my fault an entirely different entity on this planet called me an idiot during a suicidal mental breakdown. I did that. All me. It was not the conscious thought of anybody else, no, it was all me, I did all of that.

    Try using your brain?

    Oh, and by the way, did anyone else see this bit of text?

    Please give him some support in any way you can, and I would recommend you not tell him how to live his life.

    Good thing that people (all two of them, and by the way people care) respected this by absolutely fucking disregarding this.
    • "Help yourself."
    • "Don't blame others for your problems."
    Again. I told you, it's fucking hopeless.
  • Jarr2003Jarr2003 Posts: 3,791Member ✭✭✭✭✭

    Jarr2003 said:

    CWS, blaming other people for your problems isn't going to help you.

    Yes, because it's clearly my fault an entirely different entity on this planet called me an idiot during a suicidal mental breakdown. I did that. All me. It was not the conscious thought of anybody else, no, it was all me, I did all of that.

    Try using your brain?

    Oh, and by the way, did anyone else see this bit of text?

    Please give him some support in any way you can, and I would recommend you not tell him how to live his life.

    Good thing that people (all two of them, and by the way people care) respected this by absolutely fucking disregarding this.
    • "Help yourself."
    • "Don't blame others for your problems."
    Again. I told you, it's fucking hopeless.
    Sorry, I forgot about that part of the op. Still, I technically didn't say you shouldn't blame other people, I just said it wouldn't fix your problems. Technically not telling you how to live your life.
    "its like every 5 AS you require 10x more souls." -uiomancant
    Dashnet Plays NationStates: Play now! Please...
  • DemonicSprinklesDemonicSprinkles Posts: 987Member ✭✭✭
    I'll admit, @Cookiewoodstock, things have been going quite awful for you for quite a while. I can't say I've experienced the same things you have. I can somewhat relate, but of course, we are two different people, and I can't truly say that I perfectly understand what you're going through because I really don't.

    In all honesty, I can't promise you any perfect solution. The world we live in is a harsh one, and second chances are a rarity. I don't care, though. You are a human being and deserve care and respect. Maybe not everyone is on your side. It's an inevitability, really. But you should still stay with those that do care about you. I care about you. And there are others on this forum that do as well.

    You don't have to listen to me. But I want you to just know that you have some control. Be rational. Know that emotions don't have to always guide you.
    "My reverse psychology will never work on you!" ~kirdneh
    "I'm a square!" ~DarthCookie
    Username Gen
  • dt200dt200 Posts: 2,707Member, Wiener ✭✭
    People, just give up. If what everybody is assuring him is true, it will end on its own. Trying to end it will just make it worse. He has good counterpoints against things and when he gives them it reminds him of it, and reminding himself of it will not help.
    "You can't get into sigs if you try hard!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!11!!" -Darkmatterfire
    "Dude, you can't just quote yourself." -kirdneh
    "Now I can." -dt200 in reply to kirdneh even though it is sig only
    "I have bent all known laws!" -dt200 in reply to the above
  • ViniVini Posts: 3,582Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    I'll try it one more time.

    So, CWS, you need help. You want help from here, and so far not even a little bit of advice did the trick.
    I'm not going to the points of "does help from anywhere else would be out of the question" and the like. I already know the answer, even if I don't know why's that.

    What I ask is, what help do you need?

    Okay, so a stupid question. But the help a suicidal/depressed person needs differs from the help an earthquake victim needs, for example.
    It's a somewhat dumb question, but we can't blindly tackle a problem like this.

    Once you know what exactly is the kind of help you need, you'll have to inform us.
    Nobody here is an expert on psychology (I think), so anything directly related to your mind might not be properly addressed here. Still, we can try. But we could help with other things. It's the second time I see you mention DLK pestering you through PMs. That's something we can help you with, but the first step still must come from you, because, as far as I know, not even staff can get information from a convo they're not in.

    Really, if you know of any way we can help you, do say it. Be as clear as you possibly can. I don't know you that well, but I still want to support you in some way. I believe many are in a similar situation to mine. If what we've tried so far is no use, give us a hint or something. I know I, for one, am afraid to suggest something that makes it worse.

  • Jarr2003Jarr2003 Posts: 3,791Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    Vini said:

    It's the second time I see you mention DLK pestering you through PMs. That's something we can help you with, but the first step still must come from you, because, as far as I know, not even staff can get information from a convo they're not in.

    Yeah, if DLK is indeed pestering you like you claim, please add us to the pms. If DLK is indeed doing anything ban worthy there, then I'm sure he'll be banned soon enough.
    "its like every 5 AS you require 10x more souls." -uiomancant
    Dashnet Plays NationStates: Play now! Please...
  • DoomlordKravokaDoomlordKravoka Posts: 3,375Member, Wiener ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Jarr2003 said:

    Vini said:

    It's the second time I see you mention DLK pestering you through PMs. That's something we can help you with, but the first step still must come from you, because, as far as I know, not even staff can get information from a convo they're not in.

    Yeah, if DLK is indeed pestering you like you claim, please add us to the pms. If DLK is indeed doing anything ban worthy there, then I'm sure he'll be banned soon enough.
    EDIT: Could RiR invite me back to that PM too?
  • DemonicSprinklesDemonicSprinkles Posts: 987Member ✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Chisako said:

    CWS is repeating over and over that he was called an idiot... It's true that it was said, but maybe he should state the context of that.
    It was said, that if he does not accept any advice and does not listen to others at all, he is an idiot. Which again is a true statement if you are honest.
    One cannot demand help and refuse it when given. So much for that.

    I don't want to start fighting, but honestly, this is just rude. Doing something illogical isn't idiotic, it's human. Under harsh conditions, people act strangely. It's only natural.
    Chisako said:

    The complains about being banned are also bullshit, to say it bluntly.
    The ban was applied to stop further damage to user profiles and posts through false flags. Furthermore, this is not a place to seek help but a community for cookies and various other games. A place to have fun, nothing more.
    Sure, a lot people here are willing to listen to your problems and give advice when possible but for a situation like his where no advice is taken, this place remains the wrong place for his problems.
    Suitable places were named during multiple occasions. So blaming an admin for stopping the misbehavior in form of "spamming" and false reaction is just wrong.
    One task of admins and moderators is to keep this a suitable place for everyone.
    If someone is continuously ranting about the bad things in his life, and endangers the experience of other users in this place, it's just the right thing to ban the source of it.

    Listen, a happy community is a wonderful thing to have, but keep in mind that the internet shouldn't just be some escape from reality. People have issues, and it's important for the people around them to help, even if it makes them uncomfortable, because temporary discomfort is a lot better than constant suffering. This issue could potentially be resolved in a more private setting, certainly, but until then, what we have is best, I believe.
    "My reverse psychology will never work on you!" ~kirdneh
    "I'm a square!" ~DarthCookie
    Username Gen
  • dt200dt200 Posts: 2,707Member, Wiener ✭✭

    Chisako said:

    CWS is repeating over and over that he was called an idiot... It's true that it was said, but maybe he should state the context of that.
    It was said, that if he does not accept any advice and does not listen to others at all, he is an idiot. Which again is a true statement if you are honest.
    One cannot demand help and refuse it when given. So much for that.

    I don't want to start fighting, but honestly, this is just rude. Doing something illogical isn't idiotic, it's human. Under harsh conditions, people act strangely. It's only natural.
    Chisako said:

    The complains about being banned are also bullshit, to say it bluntly.
    The ban was applied to stop further damage to user profiles and posts through false flags. Furthermore, this is not a place to seek help but a community for cookies and various other games. A place to have fun, nothing more.
    Sure, a lot people here are willing to listen to your problems and give advice when possible but for a situation like his where no advice is taken, this place remains the wrong place for his problems.
    Suitable places were named during multiple occasions. So blaming an admin for stopping the misbehavior in form of "spamming" and false reaction is just wrong.
    One task of admins and moderators is to keep this a suitable place for everyone.
    If someone is continuously ranting about the bad things in his life, and endangers the experience of other users in this place, it's just the right thing to ban the source of it.

    Listen, a happy community is a wonderful thing to have, but keep in mind that the internet shouldn't just be some escape from reality. People have issues, and it's important for the people around them to help, even if it makes them uncomfortable, because temporary discomfort is a lot better than constant suffering. This issue could potentially be resolved in a more private setting, certainly, but until then, what we have is best, I believe.
    I agree with all of that, but I think this is kinda annoying him with all these posts. The annoyingness probably could potentially contribute to the sadness.
    "You can't get into sigs if you try hard!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!11!!" -Darkmatterfire
    "Dude, you can't just quote yourself." -kirdneh
    "Now I can." -dt200 in reply to kirdneh even though it is sig only
    "I have bent all known laws!" -dt200 in reply to the above
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Posts: 16,176Member, Flagger ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Chisako said:

    CWS is repeating over and over that he was called an idiot... It's true that it was said, but maybe he should state the context of that.
    It was said, that if he does not accept any advice and does not listen to others at all, he is an idiot. Which again is a true statement if you are honest.
    One cannot demand help and refuse it when given. So much for that.

    The complains about being banned are also bullshit, to say it bluntly.
    The ban was applied to stop further damage to user profiles and posts through false flags. Furthermore, this is not a place to seek help but a community for cookies and various other games. A place to have fun, nothing more.
    Sure, a lot people here are willing to listen to your problems and give advice when possible but for a situation like his where no advice is taken, this place remains the wrong place for his problems.
    Suitable places were named during multiple occasions. So blaming an admin for stopping the misbehavior in form of "spamming" and false reaction is just wrong.
    One task of admins and moderators is to keep this a suitable place for everyone.
    If someone is continuously ranting about the bad things in his life, and endangers the experience of other users in this place, it's just the right thing to ban the source of it.

    At least you recognize me for being a fucking whiny idiot.

    Besides, we all know DoomlordKravoka never endangered anybody and never blatantly made me want to kill myself due to the lack of respect for personal boundaries and how he constantly wanted to blatantly make me as miserable as possible.

    I'm just saying these things so you are happy and think I "learned" something or that I "took advice," please, don't ban me, this is all I have in my miserable excuse of a life and I know you're just going to ban me anyways after all of this no matter what I do.
  • AgubhaguAgubhagu Posts: 572Member ✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Cam, I have never said that everyone respects you or cares about you. There is no person that everyone respects and cares about. That is just life. What I am saying is that it is not true that no one cares about you. Some people, I am sure, truly care about you.

    No, no, the bad things don't last forever. Sure, they can last a long time, but that doesn't mean that they do not end. Life just isn't an eternal rainbow or an eternal hell. It's a bad thing to view it as one, since it's more painful to let go of the very good times, and even more painful to be in a very bad time.

    You're just proving my point that people like that usually feel that there is " no light at the end of the tunnel", " there is no end to my suffering", etc, etc. Of course that it's so painful to you when you honestly believe that there is no end. But, things don't change in the same way. Sometimes, they change gradually, and sometimes, they change very quickly, like in a chain reaction.

    Yes, I know that I am rambling about " light at end yes come very" " not a thing permanent", I know. But, I don't want to say the same things that others said to you, since they don't seem to do too much.
    As for the " helping yourself" point, sorry, but I didn't know that you're already taking medication and such things.
    Yes, people give the same advice to you, but you always say that " it's hopeless", " no one cares about me", etc.

    But, it is true that helping yourself, can, well, help yourself. You should think about the current situation. And, think from it from different perspectives. I don't know if that will help, honestly, but that's what I did in very bad times, if that means anything to you.
    signed
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Posts: 16,176Member, Flagger ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    There are more people who argree with Chisako that it's acceptable to cut off a suicidally depressed person from all contact with people who care about them, than there are with the original post.

    See what happens when you do nothing to prevent the person causing problems to another user, and instead focus on trying to get the person with the problems to change? If I wanted terrible, unhelpful advice, you know where I'd go? To Amane. At least he's blunt and realizes his ideas are god awful.

    I fucking told you. I told all of you it was fucking hopeless, and you didn't listen, and now look where we're at.

    Don't say I didn't warn any of you.
  • AgubhaguAgubhagu Posts: 572Member ✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Hm. I don't think that many people agree with that, though.
    But, I do not see how the Slack ban and such things would be preventable. After all, moderators and administrators have the final say in that.
    signed
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Posts: 16,176Member, Flagger ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Agubhagu said:

    Hm. I don't think that many people agree with that, though.
    But, I do not see how the Slack ban and such things would be preventable. After all, moderators and administrators have the final say in that.

    8 agrees for Chisako, 6 agrees with the original poster, quit denying it, it's acceptable to cut someone willing to kill themselves off from all help according to our staff.
  • AgubhaguAgubhagu Posts: 572Member ✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    I do not think that Chisako, or anyone a part of staff said anything of the sort. I do not know anything about the situation at Slack, so I hope that it was somehow justified. Even then, you can still come here. There are people here that want to help you, and will try to help you. So, I do not think that you've been cut off of all help.
    signed
  • CookiewoodstockCookiewoodstock Posts: 16,176Member, Flagger ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Agubhagu said:

    I do not think that Chisako, or anyone a part of staff said anything of the sort. I do not know anything about the situation at Slack, so I hope that it was somehow justified. Even then, you can still come here. There are people here that want to help you, and will try to help you. So, I do not think that you've been cut off of all help.

    Even you fucking agree with them! Even you do!

    Fuck it! It all ends now!
  • AgubhaguAgubhagu Posts: 572Member ✭✭✭
    I do ? How so ? I never said that I agree with the banning. I just hope that it was justified. If it isn't, then, of course, I don't agree.
    signed
  • DarkmatterfireDarkmatterfire Posts: 4,375Member, Friendly, Cool, Conversationalist ✭✭✭✭✭
    As a slack user it's safe to say that it was 100% justified. :p
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