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The Off Topic section is not meant for discussing Cookie Clicker.

Write long pointless rants or something

IdleGamesRockIdleGamesRock Member, Flagger Posts: 2,857 ✭✭✭
Pretty self-explanatory.

If you have ideas, PM me about it. This roleplay is somewhat inspired by a dream I had, along with Homestuck (sort of), so I pretty much have a base idea. Try and compact your posts, though, because nobody likes a TL;DR (unless they like reading). Actually, now that I think about it, a lot of people like reading, so technically TL;DRs can sometimes be cool. How long does something even have to be for it to even be considered "TL;DR?" TL;DR must vary from person to person, because everyone has a different patience level. If a text is long enough, it will be praised for the effort, and possibly even put into an almanac or other reference/record book, but most will not dare to read it. The way to not have a text appear so daunting is to grasp the reader with unique words and fluent text. Though some say not to judge a book by its cover, most do, so we must be very careful throughout the entire thing. Now, some will call anything "too long." These people are impatient. Patience can be a somewhat useful skill, because being patient will not only make you appear more mature, but also allow you to read such texts as War & Peace, Webster's New World Dictionary, and the copyright warning for a certain brand of shoes. All of the listed examples were written by geniuses who not only targeted their work at patient audiences, but were patient themselves. Also, it is a very good idea to put line breaks in between your text, to make it seem organized. Organized text is very good, because one can hop in, grab some information, and leave, but also (usually) including you in a bibliography. This will cause some to become interested in your material, and you could potentially be awarded a driver's license, which you can sell on eBay. That is how most authors make money. Also, stylizing your text with things such as italics,

bold
, and spoilers will immerse your readers, so that your book can be famous. That will allow you to collect more driver's licenses. However, since the Jester King killed the president, he has outlawed the use of cars, making the only use of driver's licenses being to store money more efficiently. The Jester King has also outlawed whipped cream, causing some to turn into robo-monkeys, which the Jester King has conveniently stored across the streetlights. Also, with all the Kyubeys walking around, people are losing their souls twice as fast. Because of this, most people have decided to take up the hobby of writing. Others have become critics. 50% of critics call everything TL;DR. 25% live on FanFiction.net. 12.5% try to criticize professional works. 6.25% criticize critcs, while 3.125% are genuine critics. The rest like warm hugs. Though many robot overlords have tried to kill the Jester King, his bad jokes have given many people heart attacks. The problem is, this sometimes affects doctors, too. That is why the Jester King is evil. At least he hasn't outlawed free will yet, so he's sort of Lawful Good, or, on the waffle scale, incandescent. Though most people are now robo-monkeys, I have decided to become human. I used to be a Bulbasaur. However, stop writing your story using my awesome tips. Scratch the whole thing. Now, rewrite it. No, not in English, you robo-monkey! In Esperanto! Not the famous one, I mean Esperanto-ish. It is much more efficient. It is an isolang, so your word count will increase to nearly 1,000 by trying to express the most basic ideas! Also, it only consists of three words: Bob, Bôb, and Böb. Also, there is the semi-pronoun assistive functioner Bøb. Bob is a verb correlator, Bôb is a rewrite protocol, and Böb is a stack overflow error. Here is a sample text describing someone's opinion.

Bøb Bob Bøb Böb Extinguisher Bob.
"He is mean, he created a nuclear bomb and was named Extinguisher."

See how long it took to say that? Now, I end my rant here, because we have a roleplay to play.
Yeah, you can probably understand.
why is this a thing

Comments

  • DarkmatterfireDarkmatterfire Member, Friendly, Cool, Conversationalist Posts: 4,375 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I like pie so much i can eat t and punch it and draw on it and fart on it (wot) I love blueberry pie muffin pie cupake pie Oreo pie Reese's pie snickers pie pie pie AND MY FAVORITE FLAVOR IS PIE FLAVOR! I HATE CAKE CAKE SUCKS I DONT EVEN KNOW WHYPEOPLE EAT IT IT TASTES TERRIBLE IF YOU HATE PIE I HATE YOU YOU IDIOT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EACH TIME I SEE A CAKE I WANNA SMASH IT INTO PIECES I WILL SHIT FURY ALL OVER CAKES I ALREADY THOUGHT UP 1000 WAYS TO DESTROY CAKES AND THATS NUST WITH MY BARE HANDS I WILL DESTROY ALL PEOPLE WHO EVEN MADE A CAKE ONCE! I LOVE PIE PIE IS SO MUCH BEGTER THAN CAKE I CAN TELL YOU 10000 REASONS WHY PIE IS BETTER THAN CAKE YOU LITTLE DILWEED EACH TIME I SEE A CAKE I WANNA STAB MY SELF 50 TIMES!


    I wrote this as fast as I can I wonder how many typos this has :p
  • IdleGamesRockIdleGamesRock Member, Flagger Posts: 2,857 ✭✭✭
    I'm surprised that nobody decided to develop on the language I made up in my rant. However, this forum is still only a small portion of the web, so I'm not that surprised.
    However, stop writing your story using my awesome tips. Scratch the whole thing. Now, rewrite it. No, not in English, you robo-monkey! In Esperanto! Not the famous one, I mean Esperanto-ish. It is much more efficient. It is an isolang, so your word count will increase to nearly 1,000 by trying to express the most basic ideas! Also, it only consists of three words: Bob, Bôb, and Böb. Also, there is the semi-pronoun assistive functioner Bøb. Bob is a verb correlator, Bôb is a rewrite protocol, and Böb is a stack overflow error. Here is a sample text describing someone's opinion.

    Bøb Bob Bøb Böb Extinguisher Bob.
    "He is mean, he created a nuclear bomb and was named Extinguisher."
    why is this a thing
  • CaesarCaesar Member Posts: 5,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Women in today's society are being treated horribly under the oppression of the male gender that is unfortunately dominant. We are being viewed as outcasts and completely different humans overall. Men today keep mocking us about how inferior we are to those hulking pigs and how we're unintelligent overemotional aliens. Today, we shall stand up to our foul oppressors and retaliate against their condescending actions. As feminists, we will strike back and regain our power.
    Shitposts may be returning
  • The_Deranged_UmbreonThe_Deranged_Umbreon Member Posts: 2,620 ✭✭✭

    Women in today's society are being treated horribly under the oppression of the male gender that is unfortunately dominant. We are being viewed as outcasts and completely different humans overall. Men today keep mocking us about how inferior we are to those hulking pigs and how we're unintelligent overemotional aliens. Today, we shall stand up to our foul oppressors and retaliate against their condescending actions. As feminists, we will strike back and regain our power.

    Now this is a skewed view. In this paragraph it is stated that men oppress women, and that men mock, and insult, and are the cause of all problems that women have. Women do have many problems, men have many problems as well. Sure, women are treated like shit in some instances, so are men, in this paragraph you called all me "Hulking pigs" in trying to defend women, you degrade men, now how does that make any sense? If one or some people call women "unintelligent overemotional aliens" that sucks, but don't you dare try to state that all men think that. This paragraph, is an example of why so many feminists look bad. It is grand, fabulous even to be a feminist, as long as you actually want people to be equal. If you want to be a feminist like that paragraph suggests, then you are insulting the entire feminist community. I am a feminist, I am also a masculist, a term I sadly had to coin as nobody has a word for a person who wants mens rights, because not many people seem to care.
    "This is when I browse the recent changes list and see if people are being poopy pants." ~ILikeTrains (Wiki friend) "you dont choose to be gay, you just have to be lucky." ~TFU_Satron "WHAT?" ~Zuptin "Did you just call me a flying monkey?" ~Opti "Absol utely." ~Kirdneh "Is your face really necessary?" ~Gouchnox
  • WalterWhiteWalterWhite Member, Cool Posts: 715 ✭✭✭
    Let's bomb Iraq.
    Just 2 hours ago, allied air forces began an attack on military targets in Iraq and Kuwait. These attacks continue as I speak. Ground forces are not engaged.

    This conflict started August 2nd when the dictator of Iraq invaded a small and helpless neighbor. Kuwait -- a member of the Arab League and a member of the United Nations -- was crushed; its people, brutalized. Five months ago, Saddam Hussein started this cruel war against Kuwait. Tonight, the battle has been joined.

    This military action, taken in accord with United Nations resolutions and with the consent of the United States Congress, follows months of constant and virtually endless diplomatic activity on the part of the United Nations, the United States, and many, many other countries. Arab leaders sought what became known as an Arab solution, only to conclude that Saddam Hussein was unwilling to leave Kuwait. Others traveled to Baghdad in a variety of efforts to restore peace and justice. Our Secretary of State, James Baker, held an historic meeting in Geneva, only to be totally rebuffed. This past weekend, in a last-ditch effort, the Secretary-General of the United Nations went to the Middle East with peace in his heart -- his second such mission. And he came back from Baghdad with no progress at all in getting Saddam Hussein to withdraw from Kuwait.

    Now the 28 countries with forces in the Gulf area have exhausted all reasonable efforts to reach a peaceful resolution -- have no choice but to drive Saddam from Kuwait by force. We will not fail.

    As I report to you, air attacks are underway against military targets in Iraq. We are determined to knock out Saddam Hussein's nuclear bomb potential. We will also destroy his chemical weapons facilities. Much of Saddam's artillery and tanks will be destroyed. Our operations are designed to best protect the lives of all the coalition forces by targeting Saddam's vast military arsenal. Initial reports from General Schwarzkopf are that our operations are proceeding according to plan.

    Our objectives are clear: Saddam Hussein's forces will leave Kuwait. The legitimate government of Kuwait will be restored to its rightful place, and Kuwait will once again be free. Iraq will eventually comply with all relevant United Nations resolutions, and then, when peace is restored, it is our hope that Iraq will live as a peaceful and cooperative member of the family of nations, thus enhancing the security and stability of the Gulf.

    Some may ask: Why act now? Why not wait? The answer is clear: The world could wait no longer. Sanctions, though having some effect, showed no signs of accomplishing their objective. Sanctions were tried for well over 5 months, and we and our allies concluded that sanctions alone would not force Saddam from Kuwait.

    While the world waited, Saddam Hussein systematically raped, pillaged, and plundered a tiny nation, no threat to his own. He subjected the people of Kuwait to unspeakable atrocities -- and among those maimed and murdered, innocent children.

    While the world waited, Saddam sought to add to the chemical weapons arsenal he now possesses, an infinitely more dangerous weapon of mass destruction -- a nuclear weapon. And while the world waited, while the world talked peace and withdrawal, Saddam Hussein dug in and moved massive forces into Kuwait.

    While the world waited, while Saddam stalled, more damage was being done to the fragile economies of the Third World, emerging democracies of Eastern Europe, to the entire world, including to our own economy.

    The United States, together with the United Nations, exhausted every means at our disposal to bring this crisis to a peaceful end. However, Saddam clearly felt that by stalling and threatening and defying the United Nations, he could weaken the forces arrayed against him.

    While the world waited, Saddam Hussein met every overture of peace with open contempt. While the world prayed for peace, Saddam prepared for war.

    I had hoped that when the United States Congress, in historic debate, took its resolute action, Saddam would realize he could not prevail and would move out of Kuwait in accord with the United Nation resolutions. He did not do that. Instead, he remained intransigent, certain that time was on his side.

    Saddam was warned over and over again to comply with the will of the United Nations: Leave Kuwait, or be driven out. Saddam has arrogantly rejected all warnings. Instead, he tried to make this a dispute between Iraq and the United States of America.

    Well, he failed. Tonight, 28 nations -- countries from 5 continents, Europe and Asia, Africa, and the Arab League -- have forces in the Gulf area standing shoulder to shoulder against Saddam Hussein. These countries had hoped the use of force could be avoided. Regrettably, we now believe that only force will make him leave.

    Prior to ordering our forces into battle, I instructed our military commanders to take every necessary step to prevail as quickly as possible, and with the greatest degree of protection possible for American and allied service men and women. I've told the American people before that this will not be another Vietnam, and I repeat this here tonight. Our troops will have the best possible support in the entire world, and they will not be asked to fight with one hand tied behind their back. I'm hopeful that this fighting will not go on for long and that casualties will be held to an absolute minimum.

    This is an historic moment. We have in this past year made great progress in ending the long era of conflict and cold war. We have before us the opportunity to forge for ourselves and for future generations a new world order -- a world where the rule of law, not the law of the jungle, governs the conduct of nations. When we are successful -- and we will be -- we have a real chance at this new world order, an order in which a credible United Nations can use its peacekeeping role to fulfill the promise and vision of the U.N.'s founders.

    We have no argument with the people of Iraq. Indeed, for the innocents caught in this conflict, I pray for their safety. Our goal is not the conquest of Iraq. It is the liberation of Kuwait. It is my hope that somehow the Iraqi people can, even now, convince their dictator that he must lay down his arms, leave Kuwait, and let Iraq itself rejoin the family of peace-loving nations.

    Thomas Paine wrote many years ago: "These are the times that try men's souls.'' Those well-known words are so very true today. But even as planes of the multinational forces attack Iraq, I prefer to think of peace, not war. I am convinced not only that we will prevail but that out of the horror of combat will come the recognition that no nation can stand against a world united, no nation will be permitted to brutally assault its neighbor.

    No President can easily commit our sons and daughters to war. They are the Nation's finest. Ours is an all-volunteer force, magnificently trained, highly motivated. The troops know why they're there. And listen to what they say, for they've said it better than any President or Prime Minister ever could.

    ...

    Tonight, as our forces fight, they and their families are in our prayers. May God bless each and every one of them, and the coalition forces at our side in the Gulf, and may He continue to bless our nation, the United States of America.

    President George Bush - January 16, 1991
    I am the one who clicks
  • CaesarCaesar Member Posts: 5,548 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Women in today's society are being treated horribly under the oppression of the male gender that is unfortunately dominant. We are being viewed as outcasts and completely different humans overall. Men today keep mocking us about how inferior we are to those hulking pigs and how we're unintelligent overemotional aliens. Today, we shall stand up to our foul oppressors and retaliate against their condescending actions. As feminists, we will strike back and regain our power.

    Now this is a skewed view. In this paragraph it is stated that men oppress women, and that men mock, and insult, and are the cause of all problems that women have. Women do have many problems, men have many problems as well. Sure, women are treated like shit in some instances, so are men, in this paragraph you called all me "Hulking pigs" in trying to defend women, you degrade men, now how does that make any sense? If one or some people call women "unintelligent overemotional aliens" that sucks, but don't you dare try to state that all men think that. This paragraph, is an example of why so many feminists look bad. It is grand, fabulous even to be a feminist, as long as you actually want people to be equal. If you want to be a feminist like that paragraph suggests, then you are insulting the entire feminist community. I am a feminist, I am also a masculist, a term I sadly had to coin as nobody has a word for a person who wants mens rights, because not many people seem to care.
    I'm not sure if that was also a joking statement but my post was actually a parody of feminazis who act like that.
    Shitposts may be returning
  • The_Deranged_UmbreonThe_Deranged_Umbreon Member Posts: 2,620 ✭✭✭

    Women in today's society are being treated horribly under the oppression of the male gender that is unfortunately dominant. We are being viewed as outcasts and completely different humans overall. Men today keep mocking us about how inferior we are to those hulking pigs and how we're unintelligent overemotional aliens. Today, we shall stand up to our foul oppressors and retaliate against their condescending actions. As feminists, we will strike back and regain our power.

    Now this is a skewed view. In this paragraph it is stated that men oppress women, and that men mock, and insult, and are the cause of all problems that women have. Women do have many problems, men have many problems as well. Sure, women are treated like shit in some instances, so are men, in this paragraph you called all me "Hulking pigs" in trying to defend women, you degrade men, now how does that make any sense? If one or some people call women "unintelligent overemotional aliens" that sucks, but don't you dare try to state that all men think that. This paragraph, is an example of why so many feminists look bad. It is grand, fabulous even to be a feminist, as long as you actually want people to be equal. If you want to be a feminist like that paragraph suggests, then you are insulting the entire feminist community. I am a feminist, I am also a masculist, a term I sadly had to coin as nobody has a word for a person who wants mens rights, because not many people seem to care.
    I'm not sure if that was also a joking statement but my post was actually a parody of feminazis who act like that.
    Ah, now I feel awkward, I wasn't joking but now that I realize you were joking...I feel kinda awkward.
    "This is when I browse the recent changes list and see if people are being poopy pants." ~ILikeTrains (Wiki friend) "you dont choose to be gay, you just have to be lucky." ~TFU_Satron "WHAT?" ~Zuptin "Did you just call me a flying monkey?" ~Opti "Absol utely." ~Kirdneh "Is your face really necessary?" ~Gouchnox
  • LauraLaura Member, Internet Detective, Friendly, Idle Game Master, Conversationalist Posts: 3,253 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Women in today's society are being treated horribly under the oppression of the male gender that is unfortunately dominant. We are being viewed as outcasts and completely different humans overall. Men today keep mocking us about how inferior we are to those hulking pigs and how we're unintelligent overemotional aliens. Today, we shall stand up to our foul oppressors and retaliate against their condescending actions. As feminists, we will strike back and regain our power.

    Now this is a skewed view. In this paragraph it is stated that men oppress women, and that men mock, and insult, and are the cause of all problems that women have. Women do have many problems, men have many problems as well. Sure, women are treated like shit in some instances, so are men, in this paragraph you called all me "Hulking pigs" in trying to defend women, you degrade men, now how does that make any sense? If one or some people call women "unintelligent overemotional aliens" that sucks, but don't you dare try to state that all men think that. This paragraph, is an example of why so many feminists look bad. It is grand, fabulous even to be a feminist, as long as you actually want people to be equal. If you want to be a feminist like that paragraph suggests, then you are insulting the entire feminist community. I am a feminist, I am also a masculist, a term I sadly had to coin as nobody has a word for a person who wants mens rights, because not many people seem to care.
    I'm not sure if that was also a joking statement but my post was actually a parody of feminazis who act like that.
    Ah, now I feel awkward, I wasn't joking but now that I realize you were joking...I feel kinda awkward.
    believe me... i agreed your post, then read cookies' post about that other post he made was a joke and i felt like "do'h" :P
  • DarthCookieDarthCookie Moderator, Friendly, Helpful, Flagger, Conversationalist Posts: 5,558 Mod

    I'm surprised that nobody decided to develop on the language I made up in my rant. However, this forum is still only a small portion of the web, so I'm not that surprised.

    However, stop writing your story using my awesome tips. Scratch the whole thing. Now, rewrite it. No, not in English, you robo-monkey! In Esperanto! Not the famous one, I mean Esperanto-ish. It is much more efficient. It is an isolang, so your word count will increase to nearly 1,000 by trying to express the most basic ideas! Also, it only consists of three words: Bob, Bôb, and Böb. Also, there is the semi-pronoun assistive functioner Bøb. Bob is a verb correlator, Bôb is a rewrite protocol, and Böb is a stack overflow error. Here is a sample text describing someone's opinion.

    Bøb Bob Bøb Böb Extinguisher Bob.
    "He is mean, he created a nuclear bomb and was named Extinguisher."
    I tried, but it was caught by the spam filter.
  • TelluriumTellurium Friendly, Cool, Idle Game Master, Conversationalist, Turquoise Posts: 5,360 Mod
    Odin said:

    Ah, now I feel awkward, I wasn't joking but now that I realize you were joking...I feel kinda awkward.

    believe me... i agreed your post, then read cookies' post about that other post he made was a joke and i felt like "do'h" :P
    Aha, I'm not the only one who keeps confusing Shiny for Cookie because of the avatar! :P
  • The_QQQQThe_QQQQ Member Posts: 181 ✭✭✭
    I hate muppets, but they aren't the worst thing in the world. Deceptacons are worse, and Rahkshi, and infected memes, and the Prune Society, and many more worse things that are worse things than other things. Never download a muppet. Never download anything that may be a threat, especially if you're downloading it into your brain. I miss The Brain. I'll never see it again because of muppets and the Prune society. KILL ALL MUP
    ~{QQQQ}
  • MasterTellarthnehMasterTellarthneh Member Posts: 26 ✭✭✭
    kirdneh said:

    See any of my posts.
    Pretty much all of them.
    Really.
    Even this one. I'm comedially ranting on a post about how much ranting is in each of my posts.
    Comedically?
    I'm not sure.
    ...
    Insert meta humor.

    It's funny because all of the quotes in your signature are of yourself.
    image
  • kirdnehkirdneh Member, Cool, Conversationalist Posts: 2,964 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2014

    kirdneh said:

    See any of my posts.
    Pretty much all of them.
    Really.
    Even this one. I'm comedially ranting on a post about how much ranting is in each of my posts.
    Comedically?
    I'm not sure.
    ...
    Insert meta humor.

    It's funny because all of the quotes in your signature are of yourself.
    Which is actually double correct, because inside jokes. And soon to be triple correct.
  • DarthCookieDarthCookie Moderator, Friendly, Helpful, Flagger, Conversationalist Posts: 5,558 Mod
  • YoukCatYoukCat Member Posts: 1,800 ✭✭✭
    I am back. Who knows how long, but either way. I am back. Now this forum gets to continue the Yarth Roleplay, the kitten armies, and more. Insert more words to make a big rant here. Insert more words to make a big rant here. Insert more words to make a big rant here. Insert more words to make a big rant here. Insert more words to make a big rant here. Insert more words to make a big rant here. Insert more words to make a big rant here. I will haunt your dreams. Insert more words to make a big rant here. Insert more words to make a big rant here. Insert more words to make a big rant here.
  • kirdnehkirdneh Member, Cool, Conversationalist Posts: 2,964 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Not just correct, or double correct, or even triple correct! We aren't even stopping at quadruple correct or even quintuple correct, but at a grand total of sextuple correct, for the price of one correct! See, this correct sprays on blue and turns white when it's finished, because there has got to be a better way! This product is not 29.99, not 24.99, not even 19.99, but is 14... payments of 17.99! Call our toll-free number 1-800-123-1337-9999-1955-1955?-You're-my-ma-you're-my-ma-My-name's-Lorraine-Lorraine-Baines-Yeah,-but-you're-uh-you're-so-you're-so-thin-555 before it's too late TOO LATE
  • DarthCookieDarthCookie Moderator, Friendly, Helpful, Flagger, Conversationalist Posts: 5,558 Mod
    kirdneh said:

    Not just correct, or double correct, or even triple correct! We aren't even stopping at quadruple correct or even quintuple correct, but at a grand total of sextuple correct, for the price of one correct! See, this correct sprays on blue and turns white when it's finished, because there has got to be a better way! This product is not 29.99, not 24.99, not even 19.99, but is 14... payments of 17.99! Call our toll-free number 1-800-123-1337-9999-1955-1955?-You're-my-ma-you're-my-ma-My-name's-Lorraine-Lorraine-Baines-Yeah,-but-you're-uh-you're-so-you're-so-thin-555 before it's too late TOO LATE

    A moment of silence for the late, great Billy Mays.

    Also, you might want to do font colors and stuff to your sig, the default blue for links only being on some of them looks ridiculous.
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