My NES port of Cookie Clicker has to fit news ticker messages into two lines of text, each 24em wide. I've written a program that alerts me if a message won't fit in two lines, which usually happens if it's longer than about 80 characters. If it doesn't fit, I have to either reword the message or discard it.
News : new chocolate planet found, becomes target of cookie-trading spaceships!
News : 13 miners trapped in collapsed chocolate mine!
News : silver found to also be transmutable into white chocolate!
News : various historical figures inexplicably replaced with talking lumps of dough!
News : known universe now jammed with cookies! No vacancies!
News : "explain to me again why we need particle accelerators to bake cookies?" asks misguided local woman.
News : children around the world "lost and confused" as any and all Halloween treats have been replaced by cookies.
News : drama unfolds at North Pole as rumors crop up around Rudolph's red nose; "I may have an addiction or two", admits reindeer.
News : "Can't you sense the prism watching us?", rambles insane local man. "No idea what he's talking about", shrugs cookie magnate/government official.
News : love's in the air, according to weather specialists. Face masks now offered in every city to stunt airborne infection.
Hate necroposts? It could be worse. It could be dupes.