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The Off Topic section is not meant for discussing Cookie Clicker.

For you, what is the funniest thing at the news ticker?

Stret1311Stret1311 Posts: 18Member ✭✭
title
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Comments

  • bob_32_116bob_32_116 Posts: 607Member ✭✭✭
    I don't think the title is all that funny. ;)

    Most of the news ticker items are pretty funny; some are a bit lame. Too many good ones to remember just off-hand. I do like the ones that incorporate my name: "Deadly bacteria named after Bob the famous cookie maker", that sort of thing.
  • Lava_EntityLava_Entity Posts: 764Member ✭✭✭
    "were nice grandmas"

    -grandma
    "What just happened?" -Me

  • NavyDan1NavyDan1 Posts: 55Member ✭✭
    edited May 15
    The seasons are all out of whack!
    "We need to get some whack back into them seasons," says one local resident.
  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    Nearly impossible to choose, but: "Birth of suspiciously bald babies on the rise. Reptilean overlords deny any involvement
  • EnsignRookEnsignRook Posts: 5Member
    elves on strike at toy factory! "We will not be accepting reindeer chow as payment anymore. And stop calling us elves!"
  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    Cookies found to sensibly increase intelligence in polar bears.
  • Lava_EntityLava_Entity Posts: 764Member ✭✭✭
    Explorers bring back artifact from abandoned cookie temple, scientists marvel at centuries-old Royal Toilet!



    no joke i really got this once
    "What just happened?" -Me

  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    Your cookies bring all the boys to the yard
  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    Cookies now more popular than nuclear warfare, says study
  • bob_32_116bob_32_116 Posts: 607Member ✭✭✭
    edited May 23
    Philanthropic donations from Bob, the famous cookie magnate, enable the Cookie Cutter Foundation, an organisation dedicated to helping cookie addicts reclaim their lives, to open Bob's House, a rehab centre for recovering addicts. On the first day doors open, the centre cannot cope with the demand. Bob denies allegations of "conflict of interest".
  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    Ook, says interviewed orangutan
  • Lava_EntityLava_Entity Posts: 764Member ✭✭✭
    Explorers bring back artifact from abandoned cookie temple, scientists marvel at centuries old Dented Teapot!
    "What just happened?" -Me

  • Lava_EntityLava_Entity Posts: 764Member ✭✭✭

    Ook, says interviewed orangutan

    Ook ook, ook? says interviewed orangutan again.
    "What just happened?" -Me

  • DatreborDatrebor Posts: 40Member ✭✭
    Visitors are stuffing themselves before riding the roller coasters. You might want to hire more for the clean up crew.
  • Lava_EntityLava_Entity Posts: 764Member ✭✭✭
    Datrebor said:

    Visitors are stuffing themselves before riding the roller coasters. You might want to hire more for the clean up crew.

    oh my.
    "What just happened?" -Me

  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    Hundreds of tons of cookies dumped into starving country from airplanes; thousands dead, nation grateful
  • DarkTerminator2901DarkTerminator2901 Posts: 1Member
    Ky btwn W and R brokn, plas snd nw typwritr ASAP
  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    Heavy dissent rages between the schools of watermagic and internetmagic
  • KhalidPlaysKhalidPlays Posts: 618Member ✭✭✭
    All frogs turned into frogs in freak magic catastrophe!
  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    this thread must never die :D :D :D
  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    All puffins turned into puffins in freak magic catastrophe
  • Lava_EntityLava_Entity Posts: 764Member ✭✭✭
    Neeeeeeews: "Neeeeeeew EEEEEEE keeeeeeey working fineeeeeeee!" reeeeeeports gleeeeeeful journalist.
    "What just happened?" -Me

  • Lava_EntityLava_Entity Posts: 764Member ✭✭✭
    edited June 6
    Chocolate mine goes awry, floods village in chocolate!



    how exactly would this work?
    "What just happened?" -Me

  • ¤RunninginReverse¤¤RunninginReverse¤ Posts: 14,940Member, Friendly ✭✭✭✭✭

    Neeeeeeews: "Neeeeeeew EEEEEEE keeeeeeey working fineeeeeeee!" reeeeeeports gleeeeeeful journalist.

    Someeeeeeeeeeething teeeeeeeeeeeeells meeeeeeeeeeee it reeeeeeally isn't fineeeeeeeeee.
    "My game will be playable on all Samsung Microwaves with firmware update 5.3.2 and up." - Audiot
    "tfw he won't listen to a 40 year old man rap about vegetables and then he tells me this" - Goldra
  • Lava_EntityLava_Entity Posts: 764Member ✭✭✭

    Neeeeeeews: "Neeeeeeew EEEEEEE keeeeeeey working fineeeeeeee!" reeeeeeports gleeeeeeful journalist.

    Someeeeeeeeeeething teeeeeeeeeeeeells meeeeeeeeeeee it reeeeeeally isn't fineeeeeeeeee.
    Maybeeeeeeeeee you areeeeeeeeee coreeeeect about theeeeeeee EEEEEE keeeee...

    *CRACK*

    ky btwn w and r brokn again pls don't b mad

    "What just happened?" -Me

  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    Pun in headline infuriates town, causes riot. 21 wounded, 5 dead; mayor still missing
  • Lava_EntityLava_Entity Posts: 764Member ✭✭✭
    "Do your cookies contain penguins?" asks PSA warning about counterfeit cookies
    "What just happened?" -Me

  • kjerstivalkjerstival Posts: 29Member ✭✭
    News: man dies in cookie-eating contest; a less-than-impressive performance, says judge
  • Lava_EntityLava_Entity Posts: 764Member ✭✭✭
    edited June 9
    Town swallowed by antimatter enduced black hole! Officials confirm the town "never really existed".
    "What just happened?" -Me

  • DatreborDatrebor Posts: 40Member ✭✭
    News : Remains of "Old Ladies" found frozen in the middle of growing fleshy structures.
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