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The most amazing ice cream menu you will ever see on this planet

GouchnoxGouchnox Member, Friendly, Cool, Conversationalist Posts: 6,483 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
Disclaimer: This is a parody of the youtube channel CinemaSins. If you have no idea of what this is, I'll recommend watching at least one of their videos before reading this thread.
Note: This menu is in French. Don't worry, you're not missing out on anything, what's written on it doesn't matter.

Everything Wrong

This ice cream menu
In 10 minutes or less

(If you want to see the image without all the colors on top, click here. Anyway, let's start.)
- Comic Sans. (+5)
space problems
(Some unnecessary spaces that shouldn't be here)
- There is a somewhat consistency with the wrong spaces before each ":", but sometimes they do type it correctly. Therefore, it's still a consistency problem. Only counting (+3) for all 19 of those.
- All the 4 other unnecessary spaces. (+4)
caps problems
- Putting caps at the beginning of a world where it shouldn't be there. (+6)
- Not putting caps at the beginning of a world which should have one (usually, when it's a name). (+4)
Note that all the names that are lacking a caps are female (a bit of a gender bias, huh?), except for the Irish Coffee (which is in English, and therefore, is genderless).
In French, there is no neutral pronoun like in English or in German. There is no "it", only "il" (he), and "elle" (she). The same goes for all the other types of pronouns (its, their and all). Therefore, each object, each name, is either male or female. For example Computer is male, and Table is female. This also applies to the pronoun "the", of course, which becomes "le" or "la" depending on the thing's gender. It's the same for the "they" pronoun. In English, there's only a neutral version, whereas in French, there's no neutral version, but male (ils) and female (elles) ones.
All of this creates an obvious gender bias in the French language, because if you don't know the gender of someone or a group of person, you can't use a neutral pronoun. In French, the neutral pronoun in this situation is.... male. Of course. (did I mentioned that I didn't like French?)
The first French person that questions my explanation by brining it the "on" pronoun is gonna get a punch to the face. We both know that this pronoun is a disgrace to the disgrace that are French pronouns. Even E.T on the NES is less of a disgrace to video games than "on" is to the French language.
- Also, I just noticed that I forgot the missing cap at the beginning of "weiss", which is in the ingredient list of the "La dame noire" (The black lady) item (which is the 3rd item). (+1)
unnecessary "and"
- They end all of their ingredient lists by "[item], [item], [item]", but on these three occasions, they decide to go with "[item], [item] and [item]", which raises a constancy problem (like absolutely everywhere on this menu). (+3)
other problems
1. TheyForgotThatYouNeedSpacesBetweenEachWordToMakeItReadable(+1)
2. (apparently they forgot to close the brackets (+1
3. "Marron entiers" means "Unprepared chestnuts", as in, putting the entire chestnut in the ice cream. The problem here is that "entiers" is a plural, meaning that there are multiple chestnuts. In which case they forgot to add an S at the end of "Marron". (+1)
4. Now, this is WTF. "miel extra" could be translated by "awesome honey", or "cool honey", or "tasty honey" (you got it I think). Erm... no. You don't put that in a menu. That doesn't make any sense. Even if "extra" was the actual name of the honey, then it would require a capital letter. In any case, (+1).
5. "Coupe à la poire" could be translated to "Pear-flavored ice cream". Which is awesome and all, but consistency is once again dead. Why didn't they write "Pear ice cream", like they did with the "Coupe Framboise" ("Raspberry ice cream") above, or any of the other ice creams for that matter? (+1)
6. Now, this too is WTF. "Coupe glacée : la Corbette :" literally means "Ice cream : the Corbette :". What. The actual. Fuck. Did this one required a grand entrance? No? Like, you couldn't just put the name on it, you had to announce the fact that it was an ice cream before writing its name. What? Like, in what reality plane does this make sense? (+3)
7. Not only do we see our "and" again, but we have "un soupçon de chantilly" after that. Which literally means "a little bit of whipped cream". Which, by the way, is exactly as much as with all the other ice creams, where they just put "whipped cream". But no, no, this whipped cream right there had to get fancy too and completely fuck the consistency. (+1)
8. "A suivre" means "To be continued". It's a shame, French has accent. And you forgot one right above that A at the beginning... and don't tell me you don't know how to type À... (+1)
9. Dot dot dot, space, dot. Read that out loud please. "Dot dot dot, space, dot". Is there anything to add? (+1)
10. Oh, so now you want to put "-" at the beginning of each item of your list.. but only there, because this list is... special... for some reason... (+1)
11. Careful there, this title is completely not centered... if I were you, I'd use the "center" button, right at the middle of your tool bar, and stop typing "space, space, space, space, space..." before each title to make it look like it's actually centered... (+1)
12. This price decided "fuck it, I'm not gonna be in front of the item in the list, but above it". Therefore, the pie doesn't cost anything, but the line above does. Genius. (+1)
13. One title decided to be in Canterlock, the other didn't. I have no idea which one to sin, since the first main title is in Canterlock too, but these two titles are actually sub titles. (+1) either way then.
- Oh, and once again, there's one that I missed. At the very bottom of the image, there's "Grand esquimaux". I have no idea how to translate that shit, sorry, I'm tired. Just trust me, there's (once again) a plurals problem here. The adjective "grand" (big) isn't plural, but "esquimaux" is. (+1)
Other non-colored bits
- The prices are not correctly aligned. (+1)
- In French, you put comas before the decimals of a number, even if it's a price. Sorry pal, but you're way to lame to attempt to get English typography. (+1)
- Another aspect of the gender bias in this text: nearly all the names that randomly have pronouns in front of them are female, as if you had to use a pronoun like "la" to precise that this name was female (the only exception being "Le Délice au macaron" (The chestnut delight)). No, I'm not a fan of gender bias. (+1)
- The "Pâtisserie maison" (Home made pastry) isn't plural, contrary to the two other titles, like if this list had only one item. Too bad, it has two. Therefore, it's "Pâtisseries maison" (Home made pastries). (+1)
- Completely random line breaks when typing the ingredient lists. Because you had to press enter right in the middle of the page for no reason. Again, and again, and again, consistency has been raped hard. (+3)

Total sin tally: 49
Typing lessons with 6 year-olds (or learning consistency with Mojang)
image Packs: (CC ~ MC ~ BoI ~ DNF) image


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